UPSIDE OF A DOWNWARD SPIRAL [Finished]

How good it was to be home. Home, sweet home. The first thing the girl did was taking a shower, then jump in a pair of jeans and a tank top, she brushes her hair. As Jolene sat down on the couch, relaxing by closing her eyes for a few minutes and then goes her brothers screaming like hell. She sighs, tearing apart to go see what’s happening or staying here pretend she didn’t heard them. They are clever, they would come down and make her going crazy so she decides to go upstairs. Knocking and then enter the forbidden room.

“Well, what’s the problem today?
- He just smashed my marshmallow fluff Jar.
-Then get an other one…She replied quietly.
- This was the last one!
- Okay. You know what? Keep an eye on Jesse, I’ll go out to the grocery store. This will be far more quiet and relaxing then this house.
- Oooooh I’ve made a list of stuff we need! Said Alban.
- That’s nice of you…But Alban, clean up that mess!”

She grabs the list and goes downstairs looking for the key of her car. They were just underneath the table and as always when she gets on her feet she hits hard her head. There’s a few swearwords coming out of her mouth, but her voice was quite low so her brothers couldn’t hear a thing and then no money in the “swearwords jar”. Then she heads off to the grocery store. She really need a few days off, it was like her brain was about to explode, so many things she has to deal with, her hunter life and her “mother-like” life. Yes, she already thinks about going far away from her family and never coming back, but she always felt bad and in some way she need them and them love. Of course they are irritating, frustating and annoying kids but they also gives her a lot of love and strength when she needs to go away for a few days on mission. She just wants them to have a great and beautiful normal life.

As she enters the grocery she grabs a basket and walk while she’s reading the list. She smiles as she can obviously see that he was clever enough to get some extra stuff on the list, she couldn’t afford the extra stuff to her brothers, she’s on her own and didn’t get enough money for leisure and all that sort of thing. Food, bills, gasoline and then she spent all her salary. She grabs a few marshmallow fluff jar, then some crackers, a few canned food and other junk food. She also grabs a package of diaper as Jesse still needs it when he goes to sleep. As she reading the funny stuff on her list she didn’t watches her steps and then was surprised as she hits someone.

“Wow, oh, sorry!”

She left her baskets, falling on the ground with a strange noise but as she had a quick look at it nothing seems to break during the collide, she felt really embarrassed and immediately blushes. As she gives a look at the poor man she seems to blush even more. Trying to collect all her stuff to relax and act normal.

“I’m so sorry, I thought I was alone in here…you know daydreamer thing I guess…”

Staring at him, he was on the floor looking over her, she bites her lower lips hopping he was fine and was she offers her hand to help him getting on his feet he did it by himself. She feels better he doesn’t look like he’s hurt. No blood showing, he didn’t seem dizzy and even afford his help. She quickly grabs the packet of diaper and covers it.

“No, no, really…or at least maybe we are both daydreamer.”

She laughed nervously too, scratching the back of her head as he almost picks up all her stuff into her basket. She just stares at him, trying to be discreet in her spying mission. He’s kind of cute, even if he’s not trying to, she sees a lot of man - Hunters included – taking care of themselves just like if they will meet the love of their lives during a hunt. Like, really?! Jolene always looks like a mess during mission, wearing the first stuff she could found and focus on the target and trying to survive. That’s the resume of her life: trying to survive. Then she focus on Chuck again, as Chuck was is name.

“Well...thank you for the help. I’m…I’m Jolene Bower. I live a couple of blocks away… And welcome in town even if I nearly knock you out…I’m just…goofy I guess!” She laughs nervously. She speaks with a lower voice, more for herself. “Good job, you look stupid now Jolene…” Then talk to Chuck again. “Why did you end up here, Chuck Shurley? It’s like in the middle of nowhere.”

She gives him a little smile, feeling a bit more comfortable and a bit less blushing. She sighs as she thought that maybe he just wants to be on his own by now and she just wastes his time. Then she felt embarrassed, again. She scratched the back of her head and then bites her lips in a nervous way.

“I’m sorry, you maybe want to be on your own and I’m right here, bothering you. I promise I will not knock you down again… I hope.” And here goes the nervous laugh. “Or well, maybe I could buy you a drink or something as compensation for the…accident…Not necessarily now, I mean we could stay here and talk or…”

She just sighs in resignation, telling herself how much she sucks at talking with people, is it that hard or is it only when she collide with them? And at this very moment she felt as if his beautiful blue eyes hypnotize her.

She thought about how stupid she looks in front of him, is that the reason he smiles? At least he’s not laughing just right in front of her. Why the Hell does she need to speak so much and so fast when she feels her heart beating faster and being nervous? God only knows. Grabbing tightly her basket, it was just like a lifebelt or the back of a sofa when you’re watching horror movies, except that she could clearly see and being seen. And to be honest she really wants to see him, this curly a bit messy hair seems to fit him so well.

As she tries to figure out what he’s trying to say she wonders if he really understood it, it’s okay anyway as she already forgot her own words by thinking how cute a man could be when he stutter, realizing she never met someone who’s stuttering as far as she remembers or maybe is it just not the right place, the right moment? This could happen to anyone, anytime, just need to be stressed and confusing thoughts. Now her brain overheating, too many things to think about and then all those new stuff, and don’t forget she needs to concentrate to her own conversation with Chuck and her internal conversation with herself, telling her she needs to drive back home and taking care of her brothers, but in an other hand she wants some time off just for herself - and Chuck - as she clearly knows Alban could manage a few hours taking care of the two little brother. Just relax, the elder boy love taking things in charge, this is your lucky day man.

“Aw, I’m sorry for your friends. I’m sure he will found his family soon enough, they maybe looking for him on their sides. Family is important.”

And look at her own, parents are dead, she was single, working her ass off while her brothers goes to school and then taking care of her hunters stuff. Yeah, that’s the spirit of an American family! Then she concentrates on the name of the friend. She doesn’t know why but it seems to ring a bell. Cas is a nickname obviously, Cassandra? Cassandre? And then she thought about Castiel, the “man” she met a few days earlier.

“Playing big brother can be cool…well, of course I can’t as obviously I’m a girl…I mean…Well you know?” She scratches the back of her head. “ Cas’ like…Castiel? That would be funny, I’ve met a man a few days ago named Castiel. To be honest, he looks like hell when I met him. I just hope he’s okay now…”

As he declines her invitation she felt disappointed and like an idiot, then she frowns as he starts to speak again. As she realizes what he told her, a real beautiful smile come to her lips, she even blushes a little. She nods her head, biting her lips over again as adrenaline flow into her, usually when you meet a boy who buying you a drink it happens in bars, or sometimes in diners not in a grocery store. Then she unsealed her lips.

“That could be cool. I mean, really great!”

Does she look so desperate? She really has no idea how to react and speaking correctly, having a nice and normal conversation. It’s not the first time someone brought her a drink, but it’s been years and she completely forgets how to behave in front of a man she could found attractive. She forgets about all those hunters rules too, at least she can assert he’s not a werewolf.