I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel]

Chuck Shurley
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You Really Should See A Doctor

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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 8, 2013 12:21:33 GMT -5

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Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 8, 2013 12:21:33 GMT -5

He fiddled with his key at the door, fussing with it, possibly due to having drunk some tonight and therefore not having as good a hand eye cordination as he normally might do. He also had what was left of that Whiskey bottle tucked under his arm and that didn't help any. He did finally manage to get the door open though and pushed it wide enough to get through, shuffling into the room first and flipping the lamp lights on. It was dark outside now, and the top light was a little intrusive. As to be expected the room was nothing special, but then Chuck wasn't a man of great wealth, but it sure beat sleeping out in the cold and wet now didn't it Cas? There was a singular, comfortable looking double bed in the center, a microwave, a TV that looked it had been hauled right out of 1970, and a small compartment space for stuff to the back, next to the door that lead to the small but ample little ensuite bathroom. It was mostly wood panneling and warm colors, and considering the rain outside, it sure looked cosy.

"Well, come in..." He fussed with his things out of his pockets on the little beside table, putting his whiskey bottle down there and removing his rain coat, hanging it on the back of a chair. Next to the bed he had a small travel suitcase, in which he had a few wash bits and grooming essentials, extra clothes and an evelope. Nothing else really visible. Turning he smiles weakly to him.

"I know it's not a lot but it's comfortable." he sought excuses for his meager offering, but it was all he had right now and he was willing to share it with Cas, thought that counted right? He ruffled his own hair and leaned down, picking up a walmart bag from down the side of the bed and putting it on the little table in Cas' view.

"Got a few bits to eat in here, not a lot but, some chips and cookies and things if you get hungry at all." He breathed through his nose deeply, just trying to make Castiel feel comfortable, but Chuck was terrible at it. He knew he was waffling on, just saying things to make light of the slightly cramped situation. He wasn't a host, he didn't normally like people in his personal space at all, which was normally the entire room he was occupying at any given time, but he needed someone right now, and lord knew so did Cas.

"Want me to show you how to use the bathroom and stuff?"

The Room

Castiel
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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 8, 2013 16:13:53 GMT -5

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Post by Castiel on Sept 8, 2013 16:13:53 GMT -5

Castiel walked into the hotel room and felt a little off. This wasn’t his usual place of stay, but now that he was human, he knew he would need a place to rest, such as this. He looked around and saw the bed. First off, it was a kind bed, so he wondered....how this would work. He supposed he and Chuck could share...it wasn’t that big of a deal. Not to Cas anyway... He noticed the TV in the corner of the room and nodded. He missed TV. He still liked it, even after everything. When he was an angel sometimes he enjoyed watching it. He had missed it while in Purgatory.

He noticed the microwave and fridge near the bed. All in all, it wasn’t a bad place to stay. Plus there was internet and everything else they would need for any research they would do. As Chuck put the whiskey bottle down Cas frowned. Some things never changed, and Chuck... being who he was....still drank a lot. That worried Cas. “Do you wish yourself Dead Chuck?” Castiel whispered concerned, “Because the amount of alcohol you are consuming....eventually it will do that to you,” he said softly. “I personal dead again...” he said.

He sighed wondering if Chuck would listen to him. Most people that drank didn’t. “Chips and cookies? I never tasted those before...” Castiel said honesty. Honestly, the most he had was a bacon cheesburger. “Thanks Chuck,” he said to him.

Castiel looked up at Chuck as he asked if he wanted him to show him the bathroom. Castiel nodded, “Yes please...” he said softly realizing that suddenly he had a bit of an ....accident. He frowned looking down at his leg as it was wet. He sighed, “I’m pathetic....” he said quietly. He would obviously have to learn when he should and shouldn’t use the facilities. “Please show me...” he said pathetically.

Chuck Shurley
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You Really Should See A Doctor

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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 9, 2013 7:36:03 GMT -5

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Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 9, 2013 7:36:03 GMT -5

For a moment, on the subject of his drinking, he looked a bit indignant. Of course he didn't want to kill himself, that wasn't the point to his drinking, and frankly if he did want to off himself he could think of plenty quicker, cheaper ways to do it than dying of kidney failure. No, Chuck didn't want to die, because with all he knew now about heaven and hell, death scared him. It wasn't just a peaceful cloud you got after all, assuming you go to heaven and for all his flaws he figured after serving as a prophet it came with the job description, right? He fussed a little bit for a moment as he composed himself to answer those accusations and questions. He knew he drank too much these days, he wasn't an idiot, but you had no idea how much it helped. He looked up to him, looking even smaller than he normally did as he attempted to validate his reasons for excessive alcohol consumption.

"I've just got a lot i'd like to forget." He started, and it was a strong start if you didn't counter act it with the fact there were better ways of getting over things than drinking yourself into a stupor. "...I've been stuck in a psychiatric hospital for...well, quite a long time and well, sooner or later you start believing them when they say you're crazy." He laughed it off nervously, although he was serious. It was hard, really hard for a man who wasn't exactly the hardiest of people. He swallowed the tail end of the laugh, looking for a second like it might descend into tears but he swallowed that down too and looked back up.

"I know i drink too much, i used to use it just when i got the headaches and the visions, but those became more and more frequent as time went on so i drank more. I found i drank every time i wrote and that being my job, well, Whiskey just fitted into common place. I liked to write at night, and it's acceptable to drink at night. Then i woke up in the middle of nowhere and ya know they don't really let you have liquor in the wards. I only started again when they let me out...It's nice when something replaces having to think about what's happened."

Hell, he was sure more than a couple of people Cas knew would agree with him. Bobby Singer, for one. He shrugged it off, leaving it at that and assuming it was a good enough explanation as any as to why his drinking had become a little heavier recently. He sighed a little, nodding when he said thanks about the cookies and such but not surprised he hadn't had them before. He wasn't going to fake surprise over it either.

Then he noted the wet patch, and even with a few drinks in him and the taste of Whiskey in his mouth, he still caught the faint aroma of urine. He held back a grimace for the sake of Castiel's dignity, casting a subtle glance skyward again as he ever did while mentally asking if this was another test, and then moved over to him and took his upper arm in an offer of guidance.

"Come on, we'll clean you up." Sure, this might be awkward, but Chuck was fundamentally a good guy, and he did want to help Cas. Leading him into the small, ever so slightly cramped bathroom, he clicked on the bright overhead light and closed the door behind them. Operation 'Daddy Chuck' initiated. Turning to him, he gestured to the toilet.

"This is the toilet, Now you use this whenever you, you know...think you're gonna have an accident. You'll know, because you'll feel pressure somewhere, just look out for it. For now, i really recommend you just....sit on it, lid up, and relax, your body will do it's thing." he lifted the toilet seat just to show him it's vital that it was up before he tried to use it. "Whatever happens just, don't freak out about it. You uh..." He paused, rubbing the back of his neck a moment, not even sure he needed to explain this to him but he thought he better. "...when you need too, you know...pee, you're gonna feel it here." Touching his abdomen area, over where his bladder was. "and when it's not a pee, you know...when it's....Number twos...it's gonna be here." Putting his arm around behind Cas and putting two fingers just above his tail bone on his spine, being really careful not to be overly touchy with him. "any time you feel anything like that, you come in here. When it's number twos you have to wipe...that's what this is for." Moving, tapping the toilet roll. "And when you're done, you just do this." Presses the flush handle down, and flushes the toilet.

"Are we pretty clear on how to use the toilet?"

Please lord let him say yes, because Cas needed out of those soiled trousers before he made the whole place stink, and Chuck didn't want to stand in here with him half naked any longer than he had too in order to instruct Cas how to use the shower.

Castiel
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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 9, 2013 11:52:37 GMT -5

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Post by Castiel on Sept 9, 2013 11:52:37 GMT -5

Castiel nodded “Yes, I can see where alcohol would come in handy...” he muttered still quite embarrassed over his little, accident. He felt like he was a 3 year old kid learning to potty train or something, but his vessel was a full fledge adult so it was quit embarrassing. He sighed a bit annoyed. He hated this, he liked being human, having his freedom...but there was so much he needed to get used to. So much. “I have quite a bit I’d like to forget myself...” Castiel muttered. First there was the whole, him pretending to be God thing. He wanted to forget that more then anything. Then, there was the insane asylum. He was there for quite a while....then there was him betraying Sam and Dean on multiple occasions.

“I drank....occasionally...but not excessively. But I have to admit...it did help...one time, I drank a whole liquor store....it affected me tremendously....” Castiel said honestly. It did...and it took a lot but it DID affect him. Castiel had needed it though, that was back when he realized God had actually left the building. “It was when I realized Father wasn’t around anymore...” he said. “You remember I’m sure...” he pointed out. Chuck was still around at the time. That was before they assumed him to be dead.

As Chuck explained the toilet and what he would feel when he had to use it, Castiel found himself blushing, big time. “I feel like a child,” he muttered. This was embarrassing. He knew that humans had to....go....and then this actually happened? He was relieved this didn’t happen in front of Sam and Dean, because Lord knew the teasing he would get from it. He sighed. “Honestly Chuck I um....” he shook his head. “I have some getting used to but...I think I got it...” he said when Chuck finished explaining everything.

He sighed, “I think I need to change now...” he said making a face. “Do you have pants that might fit me? I promise I will not have....this happen again...” he said. Now that he knew what to look out for....he was sure to be better at this.

All these new sensations...everything...he would have to get used to. He hated this idea, but he knew he would be alright eventually. This was all new, but still....he knew that things would be good. "Thank you Chuck...for showing me..." he said.

Chuck Shurley
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You Really Should See A Doctor

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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 10, 2013 9:06:21 GMT -5

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Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 10, 2013 9:06:21 GMT -5

Yeah, no kidding Castiel had things he wanted to forget, and hearing him voice it was a little bit comforting. Kinda, in a round about way. Sure it wasn't great for Castiel but it made Chuck feel just a little bit less on his own. It was lonely, being Chuck Shurley, it had been for 32 years. He listened to him tell him about drinking an entire store, and part of Chuck wondered how many times over that amount of alcohol in someone's system would kill them. An entire liquor store. He was guessing at least 100, if you're including the strong spirits. He tried to shake off the morbid thoughts after that and just about caught Cas saying he ought to remember, and yeah...yeah he did. He remembered. He actually remembered the exact moment Castiel lost faith in his father, he'd written it, and it had been quite a painful scene to write.

He went from pity to awkward very quickly when Cas insisted he got it, because none of this was the easiest to explain to someone and technically Cas was right, it was like trying to potty train a child, only that child was a fully functioning adult with insecurities of his own. He blushed and looked away as Castiel too got embaressed, turning this into a tiny little bright wash room of uncomfortable. Just get through this Chuck, you'll be fine.

He nodded to the whole idea of getting changed, but shrugged to the question reguarding trousers. "You're a bit taller than i am but i don't think we differ too much in the waist band so, they might come up a little short, but they'll be better than nothing." He'd loan him some Jeans, poor guy needed everything he could get right now. Hell, he knew at least for a litte while that he'd be feeding him too, but he was okay, they might have to eat a little more on the cheap, but they'd manage, and they'd have each other. Chuck thought that would be more than worth it.

"Come on, let's get this over with."

Things were about to become the most awkward moments of Chuck Shurley's poor little life, but a friend in need and all that. He reached up and starte too unbutton Castiel's plain bluish shirt for him.

"You can undo your pants, don't think that'd be appropriate for me to do that." He cherped, with a mild insistency in his voice too. He wasn't about to entirely mother him. "You can't get in the shower dressed and i can't really show you how to do these things until you're, you know...there. I won't look." He pulled the ex-angel's shirt off him, leaving him topless and then turned his back on him so Cas could take his trousers off with some dignity, hanging the shirt up on a hook since it was clean enough to reuse (by Chuck's stanards). He then waved a hand in the direction of the sink.

"Just stick the trousers and briefs in there and i'll deal with them." Wouldn't be the first time Chuck has had to wash pissy trousers but that was really never going to be a story he went into with anyone. For now he'd just keep his back turned and let Cas prepare to get in the shower.

Castiel
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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 10, 2013 10:54:58 GMT -5

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Post by Castiel on Sept 10, 2013 10:54:58 GMT -5

Castiel definitely had lots of things he wanted to forget. He sighed at the thought. The thing was, he wasn’t sure alcohol would help him the way it did Chuck. At least now he understood though that it was needed at times. He could understand why humans needed and craved it so much. With a sigh he looked around the room which would be his new home at least until he found Sam and Dean. He was glad he ran into Chuck, very glad. He was also glad that Chuck was willing to help him out in a way that no one else could. He was also grateful he ran into Gabriel at one point too. It was a comfort to him knowing that they were both alive. “Gabriel is alive Chuck...” he said randomly. “I thought you should know this...” he said to him.

Castiel was grateful that Chuck was going to loan him some pants. Even if they didn’t fit him all together at least it was better then nothing. He shrugged and sighed for a moment. He knew how pathetic this was and it was indeed like potty training a child. He was never more embarrassed in his life, which was also a new expression. He was grateful he was learning this all before he ran into Sam and Dean though.

As Chuck said lets get this over with Castiel nodded and went into the bathroom. He undid his pants as Chuck instructed. Now he was a bit naked. Something again he wasn’t used to. He was gad Chuck wasn’t going to look because he was embarrassed enough as it was.

He stook the trousers and bries where Chuck instructed so that he could wash them for Cas, and did as eh was told. Castiel stepped into the tub by himself of course, hardly speaking as it were. He was completely embarrassed. “Alright I am ready,” he whispered quietly almost in a sob. He knew how pathetic he sounded but he didn’t care. Again, he was grateful it was just Chuck. He knew Chuck wouldn’t tease him, although he was so pathetic right now, he didn’t even think Dean would do his normal teasing. He knew how bad he looked. He just wanted to break down, and he felt like he was going to get choked up if he didn’t stop thinking about it. Something new that never happened to him of course.... his voice cracked as he spoke and he knew Chuck picked up on it.

Chuck Shurley
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Posts: 41

I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 11, 2013 6:44:42 GMT -5

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Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 11, 2013 6:44:42 GMT -5

Gabriel was alive? Okay fine he wasn't a prophet anymore, but an archangel was alive and he didn't get so much as a visit? Gee, thanks heaven, this whole re-adjusting to a normal-ish life thing was so easy, who needed help? or comfort? or any bloody word from the cloud dwellers to tell him what he was supposed to do with himself now he wasn't being their little scribe. He resented the whole situation a little, since he never wanted to be a prophet in the first place, and it wasn't like they asked. It was all just thrust upon him and BOOM, you know, any hopes of a normal existence was robbed from him. He didn't mention his feelings towards Gabriel being alive out loud, he'd probably just sound bitter and angry, and since Cas was already sounding like a whimpering beaten puppy he didn't want to put any more stress on him.

He got the impression Cas was grateful for this, beyond just being told he was, because the ex-angel was just doing as he was told without complaint or resistance. It made doing this for him easier when Cas wasn't pushing back against his guidance, and it made him wonder if he'd ever have been a good dad. Not that he ever got that chance because no woman seemed to want to stick around, but hey, he could wonder. He kept his back to him while Cas de-robed, and sucked his lower lip gently. He wasn't going to look, the poor guy was already humiliated, but he would now have to be within his direct vicinity to show him how to do this, he just hoped Castiel wouldn't kick off about it. Chuck was harmless, Cas really didn't need to feel tense with him.

He nodded once Cas was stood in the tub and turned back with a deep, steeling breathe and closed his eyes for a second before opening them, keeping them steadily above Castiel's shoulders, and moving over to him. He pushed the shower curtain just slightly more out of his way, standing just outside the tub and leaned over to the shower controls, physically shaking slightly. Sure, he was shy and nervous and the last person he'd been around that was naked was...well a while ago.

"See these? They're the shower controls. This one turns the water on but you don't want to touch that one first." He turned the second knob up to about heat level 7, that was mild but not cool. "This one's the heat level, you turn the water on before adjusting the heat you're gonna get pelted with cold water, which isn't nice." He offered him a gentle, guiding smile, which asked him desperately to relax. "Level 7 is comfortable, so just, remember that." He stared a moment, but at his face, as he came to the sudden realization he really was standing there with a naked Castiel, who in his opinion was far more attractive compared to the tiny, scruffy Chuck. He blushed a bit and looked back to the dial. "Okay, turn the water on. That's for your hair..." Pointing to the bottle of 2-in-1 shampoo. "It goes on your hair but keep your eyes closed and after you rub it in, wash it out. That's for your body..." Pointing to a bottle of shower wash. "That's about it, ya...Enjoy."

Then he drew the shower across to let Cas wash, breathing out steadily and leaving the bathroom. That wasn't as painful as he'd expected it to be.

Castiel
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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 11, 2013 17:32:00 GMT -5

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Post by Castiel on Sept 11, 2013 17:32:00 GMT -5

Castiel also couldn’t believe Gabriel was alive. It was news to him as well, so when he saw Gabriel he was fully in surprise. He sighed and thought about what Gabriel went through. He remembered his brothers and sisters giving the angel a hard time for asking questions. He remembered all of it. In fact, Castiel asked some questions himself and got reamed for it before. He was somewhat glad he was human now, at least he would have his freedom in a way. Still.... it was embarrassing because he didn’t know what to think of all this.

As Chuck started the shower for him and stepped back a bit Castiel smiled at him. He appreciated all the help Chuck was giving him. “Level 7, comfortable...right...” he said. He figured the other ones would be too hot or too cold. He definitely didn’t want things too hot that was for sure. He knew he needed to learn the adjustments and everything.

Castiel realized too that he was naked in front of Chuck, but being that he had been an angel, well..it didn’t bother him as much as it would a regular human. Honestly, the thought never occurred to him. He could see Chuck blushing a little bit though and thought perhaps he should cover up somewhat soon.

When he was in the shower he put some of the wash in his hand and rubbed it over his hair and then his body figuring that was how to do it. So once his hair was clean, he cleaned the rest of him off. When he was done, he shut the water off, and still had some soap on him, but he managed to get it off with the towel. He came out after he changed, “I feel better...thank you...” he said to Chuck smiling a little.
 He did feel somewhat better, but now...now what was he going to do? He actually felt a little hungry but didn’t want to be too much of a bother. He was also feeling tired from the shower. It didn’t seem to help having some hot water on him. “So....now what?” Castiel asked softly looking down at his hands. He was embarrassed. He wished he knew how to ‘act' human. He knew he sucked at that. He hoped Chuck could show him.

Castiel
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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 11, 2013 17:32:02 GMT -5

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Post by Castiel on Sept 11, 2013 17:32:02 GMT -5

Castiel also couldn’t believe Gabriel was alive. It was news to him as well, so when he saw Gabriel he was fully in surprise. He sighed and thought about what Gabriel went through. He remembered his brothers and sisters giving the angel a hard time for asking questions. He remembered all of it. In fact, Castiel asked some questions himself and got reamed for it before. He was somewhat glad he was human now, at least he would have his freedom in a way. Still.... it was embarrassing because he didn’t know what to think of all this.

As Chuck started the shower for him and stepped back a bit Castiel smiled at him. He appreciated all the help Chuck was giving him. “Level 7, comfortable...right...” he said. He figured the other ones would be too hot or too cold. He definitely didn’t want things too hot that was for sure. He knew he needed to learn the adjustments and everything.

Castiel realized too that he was naked in front of Chuck, but being that he had been an angel, well..it didn’t bother him as much as it would a regular human. Honestly, the thought never occurred to him. He could see Chuck blushing a little bit though and thought perhaps he should cover up somewhat soon.

When he was in the shower he put some of the wash in his hand and rubbed it over his hair and then his body figuring that was how to do it. So once his hair was clean, he cleaned the rest of him off. When he was done, he shut the water off, and still had some soap on him, but he managed to get it off with the towel. He came out after he changed, “I feel better...thank you...” he said to Chuck smiling a little.
 He did feel somewhat better, but now...now what was he going to do? He actually felt a little hungry but didn’t want to be too much of a bother. He was also feeling tired from the shower. It didn’t seem to help having some hot water on him. “So....now what?” Castiel asked softly looking down at his hands. He was embarrassed. He wished he knew how to ‘act' human. He knew he sucked at that. He hoped Chuck could show him.

Chuck Shurley
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You Really Should See A Doctor

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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 12, 2013 10:45:07 GMT -5

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Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 12, 2013 10:45:07 GMT -5

Yeah, Chuck was actually glad Cas wasn't as awkward as he'd been just then, because for a human who'd been raised a certain way with certain values and who it was okay to be naked in front of and when, well...It was hard for Chuck to shake it, Cas however didn't seem to really see the problem with his lack of clothes, and that was better than them both standing there trying not to do or say the wrong thing. It was fine, Chuck thought it went a lot smoother than he'd anticipated, and with all the things he was going to have to show him he hoped Cas was just as calm and collected as he had been a moment ago for all of them. S'all he asked. He would wash Cas' clothes in the tub when the Angel had gone to sleep, and hopefully they would be dry by morning if he hung them on the heater for the night.

Chuck was perched on the edge of the bed in his PJ's for the night, which consisted of dark blue striped bottoms and a black T shirt. He looked over to him when he heard the door to the bathroom open and stopped what he was doing, which was rummaging in the bag of cookies and things he'd shown Cas earlier. He nodded and smiled to him when he announced he felt better for the shower, and Chuck knew exactly how that felt. He then stuck one edge of a cookie in his own mouth and pulled another one out of the bag and threw it on the side of the bed closest to Cas in offering, biting his own and taking it out of his mouth.

"Here, eat that."

That's what Cas could do next: eat. He shifted to face him more and dropped the bag back down on the floor beside the bed, crossing his legs on what he was claiming as his side of the bed. Next room they got they could get a twin but for tonight they shared. He'd put the lamps on now, so it was a nice low light, and with the curtains drawn to block the lights outside of the motel room, it actually felt quite comfortable, and homely. He picked up his Whiskey bottle and took a swig after having another bite of his cookie and swallowed the two in unison.

"This is your side of the bed." Patting the side he wasn't on. "So, you know, sit down, relax...talk?"
Cas would have to learn what it was to switch off and go to sleep without being at the point of exhaustion, because he was fairly sure Cas didn't know when to stop with some things. It was okay, though, it was going to be okay. Chuck was going to take good care of him while he had him around, and really, in some ways Cas was taking care of Chuck.

Castiel
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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 12, 2013 11:58:10 GMT -5

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Post by Castiel on Sept 12, 2013 11:58:10 GMT -5

Castiel was just feeling lost and he felt like Chuck kinda picked up on that. Even so.... Castiel looked around the room and could tell Chuck may not have been doing as well as he thought either. He knew the prophet had problems before, especially with Zachariah, thankfully, that wasn’t happening now. Chuck was just...Chuck it seemed, just as Castiel was only himself. Now Kevin was the prophet, and Kevin was having his own problems. Castiel wondered where the boy was or if he was even alive. He doubted it at this point. Still, there was always hope.

Chuck tossed the cookie in front of Castiel and he stared at it, “I never had one of these before,” he said wondering how he would react to something like this. He did like bacon cheese burgers, so maybe this cookie would be just as good?

He slowly took a bite of the cookie and continued to eat it. He actually did like it quite a bit. He ate it quickly and realized he was hungry, “Are there more?” he asked softly. He didn’t want to sound pathetic but he knew he probably did. He was feeling hunger for the first time.

As Chuck pat the side of the bed and told him about sides Cas nodded. He sat down as instructed. “Talk? Talk about what?” Castiel asked softly. The thing was, the only thing he could even think about was getting to Sam and Dean. He was worried for them, for Sam especially since he knew the trials took so much out of him. Dean he knew would handle himself. He hoped Dean was alright though.

Then there were the angels....how many of them hated him? Castiel was a bit worried because he knew because of this mistake, he was on the angels hit list for sure. He sighed, “I fear the angels will hate me,” he said honestly. “Its my fault this happened Chuck.... so why shouldn’t they?” he asked.

He knew they would be right in thinking this way too. He knew he might not survive long as a human, mostly because....Crowley wanted him dead most likely and the angels felt the same way. “I do not expect to be able to last long Chuck...” he said quietly. “If I am to be honest...I have a lot of people upset with me....and it wouldn’t surprise me if Dean was one of them,” he said even softer. He sighed and looked at his hands. What he did to Dean...he wasn’t sure he would be forgiven for. He didn’t deserve it anyway. All he wanted to do now was ask for Dean’s forgiveness. Ask for everyones forgiveness. "I made a mess of things....again..." he said quietly.

Chuck Shurley
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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 17, 2013 10:17:29 GMT -5

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Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 17, 2013 10:17:29 GMT -5

“Sure there are.”

Chuck rummaged in the plastic bag at Castiel’s question and fished out the little paper bag that held another 3 cookies and dumped it on the bed in front of him. He could always get more cookies in the morning. In fact maybe going out and getting some more substantial food was a damn good idea now he had someone else to worry about, feeding wise. Chuck took good enough care of himself but he was a bit careless, now he had someone else’s nutritional needs to worry about, and that was something Chuck could focus on. It helped him, it gave him a purpose, a reason: a drive. He hadn’t been doing amazingly, because he’d been feeling directionless, and bordering hopeless, but that was all changed by the arrival of a needy little ex-angel.

He watched Cas eat with a subtle curiosity was pleased to find his reaction to cookies was a positive one. Who didn’t like cookies anyway? Except Sam maybe, who preferred Salad, but in his opinion the Winchester’s didn’t count, they were a bit odd anyway. He shrugged when Cas asked what they should talk about, because Chuck didn’t have much, but he’d fish something out of thin air if Castiel didn’t have anything to talk about either, but if he did, he’d let the angel steer the conversation. Then he frowned gently to the mention of the angel’s hating him, looking down into his own lap.

“Cas, I mean this as nicely as I can but…Screw ‘em?” He looked back up to him with hopeful eyes that Cas would catch onto what he was getting at. “You made a mistake, and you’re paying for it. But you know…you’re gonna fix it. That’s what you do, that’s what the Winchester’s do. Stop worrying about who hates you for it, because it’s only gonna drag you down, and right now? I think we need all the optimism we can get.”

He leaned over and took his bottle back up, swigging a large mouthful of whiskey with those bright blue eyes on him. He lowered it quickly though when Cas confessed about no expecting to last, and he frowned sharply.

“Don’t you dare. No!” Chuck didn’t so much snap at him as squeak his distaste for that statement at him. “Don’t even think that way, and you know, Dean’s always considered you family so even if he is a little upset he is still going to help you. That’s what he does. Don’t go despairing on me Cas because if you’ve got nothing else left: You’ve got me!”

Castiel
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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 18, 2013 19:59:47 GMT -5

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Post by Castiel on Sept 18, 2013 19:59:47 GMT -5

Castiel ate the cookies hungrily and he realized just how hungry he was. He realized he wasn’t treating his vessel properly before. Now that he was human, he would fix that. Jimmy was gone anyway....so now it was simply just Castiel inside of him. He continued to eat the rest hoping Chuck didn’t care, it didn’t seem like he did. He probably would have eaten a whole meal now if it were aloud or if he had the money for it. Although this time....Cas needed to wait. He would wait until he had some money to pay for a meal himself. He had to figure out something for money...he was a terrible liar and the credit cards wouldn’t work for him...although maybe he could make them work, he wasn’t so sure.

“Chuck, this wasn’t just ONE mistake,” Castiel said to him. “You don’t understand...the things I did....to Heaven....” he said softly. “i was trying to fix it....all of it....twice I made a mess...” he said. “Twice....” with a hugh sigh he stood up for a minute. “I know what you are trying to do, but you know that I will blame myself....I can not help it,” he said “I pretended to be God....I didn’t listen to Dean then...I pretended to..... to be Metatron’s buddy even after Dean told me I should question it....” he said “I am doing everything I can for Deans forgiveness and will do anything he tells me now....” Castiel said “I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I will fix it....but I have no desire to return to Heaven...it is no longer my home...hasn’t been for a while,” he said.

Castiel jumped when Chuck shouted a bit at him. “Alright um.... I’m sorry Chuck....” Castiel said. He listened to Chuck and nodded as he spoke. “I know Dean’s considered me family,” Castiel said with a smile, “I feel the same way about him...” he said.

“I just want things back to normal again...I want Sam to be okay. I want Heaven to be restored. I want everything back to before I screwed everything up. I can’t help how I feel Chuck, but I will do everything I can to stop all this.” he said. "There is one thing you should know." he said "Gabriel is back...." he said to him. "I just found out myself..."

Chuck Shurley
Civilian

You Really Should See A Doctor

Posts: 41

I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 25, 2013 8:25:40 GMT -5

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Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 25, 2013 8:25:40 GMT -5

Yeah, well he knew Castiel didn’t have any money and he still took him in. He was prepared for that, and even a little worried about how he’d attempt to make money if he didn’t take him in. Castiel wasn’t stupid, but he was human now and he was clueless as to the human world. There was such a thing a trafficking, and he doubted Cas would even understand the gesture if someone tucked dollar bills in his trouser waistband and told him to follow them. He was actually sure Castiel would, and by the time he knew what was happening it would be too late. That was sad, Cas really was a mouse in a house full of cats now, but thankfully he had Chuck, who although was also a mouse, he was a mouse who knew more or less how to go unnoticed by the cats.

“Sure, I know, you told me, you screwed everything up big time. Is that what you wan’ hear, Cas?”

He stared at him, and Chuck had quite a stare. His eyes were the dominating feature of his face and could vary between sky blue and an icy shade of accusation. He couldn’t believe how much Castiel was tearing himself apart for this. There was a difference between feeling/knowing your guilt and then flogging yourself emotionally in a twisted farce of internal masochism. He was wondering if Castiel was trying to suffer, in some sort of sick penance for his mistakes.

“You made mistakes, alright. I get it, a lot of them. You will make them better, because you’re not a bad man…angel. You’re talking like you’re comparing yourself to Lucifer. We both know you never went out intending to do what you’ve done and that counts for something! Man up! Stop sobbing, you’ve got work to do and things to fix.” Some tough love, and it was only just firm enough to count from the nervous little Chuck Shurley.

He looked at him again when he told him Gabriel was back. Again. He sighed gently, and gave him a slightly pitying look.

“You must be tired, if you’re repeating yourself.” He leaned up and gently pressed on Castiel’s chest and eased him to lay down on the bed, introducing him to the pillow. Okay this was a little homoerotic, or would be if Cas was a normal man, but Chuck was just trying to help him, guide him. He settled down next to him once he had Cas laying down and looked at him, his own head on his pillow.

“You should rest, try to sleep.”

Castiel
Civilian

Posts: 136

I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel] Sept 27, 2013 19:50:52 GMT -5

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Post by Castiel on Sept 27, 2013 19:50:52 GMT -5

Castiel was grateful for Chuck taking him in. He knew that he would owe him after that. Perhaps he could get a job or something to pay him back? Castiel wasn’t so sure what he could do really. All he knew was, he had to get money, somehow. He couldn’t keep living off of people like this that was for sure. He wondered if Dean would be able to teach him how to do certain things with credit cards like he and Sam did. Castiel wasn’t sure. He hoped so though.

When Chuck asked if what he said was what he wanted to hear Castiel shrugged, “Maybe, maybe not,” he said quietly. “Because its true...” he sighed again. He knew Chuck probably didn’t want to hear any of this. No one did, not when Cas was all moody. He couldn't help it though. He was human now so it was eating at him more then usual.

As Chuck told him to stop sobbing and Man up, Castiel stared at him. “Alright then,” he said quietly. He was exhausted and he realized that. He knew he had to fix everything. He just had to. Somehow. He didn’t know how exactly. “I don’t have a choice Chuck, I have to make it better,” he said.

“I am very tired...” he agreed. He realized he was feeling tired for the first time in a while. Everything was weighing down on him and he knew he had to rest before he did go crazy. “I will rest,” he said to Chuck.

He finally lay down on the bed and closed his eyes exhausted. He slept the whole night and then woke up the next morning feeling a bit better. He realized how much he needed it. He waited for Chuck to get up by walking over to the window and looking out for a while. He was just thinking and looking at the people walking by.

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I WILL NEVER LET YOU FALL [Tag: Castiel]

Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 8, 2013 12:21:33 GMT -5

Post by Castiel on Sept 8, 2013 16:13:53 GMT -5

Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 9, 2013 7:36:03 GMT -5

Post by Castiel on Sept 9, 2013 11:52:37 GMT -5

Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 10, 2013 9:06:21 GMT -5

Post by Castiel on Sept 10, 2013 10:54:58 GMT -5

Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 11, 2013 6:44:42 GMT -5

Post by Castiel on Sept 11, 2013 17:32:00 GMT -5

Post by Castiel on Sept 11, 2013 17:32:02 GMT -5

Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 12, 2013 10:45:07 GMT -5

Post by Castiel on Sept 12, 2013 11:58:10 GMT -5

Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 17, 2013 10:17:29 GMT -5

Post by Castiel on Sept 18, 2013 19:59:47 GMT -5

Post by Chuck Shurley on Sept 25, 2013 8:25:40 GMT -5

Post by Castiel on Sept 27, 2013 19:50:52 GMT -5

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